


Eleven

by notjustmom



Series: Mirrors [11]
Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: Established Sherlock Holmes/John Watson, Fluff, M/M, love letter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-30
Updated: 2017-06-30
Packaged: 2018-11-21 11:55:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 528
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11356995
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notjustmom/pseuds/notjustmom
Summary: Sherlock's letter to John, John's will be composed shortly...





	Eleven

John -

Every once in a while I glance over at you when you are asleep, or your attention is focused elsewhere. I try not to linger, as I know you get embarrassed for some reason, after all these years I still don't know why you should wonder that I think you worthy of study. You are endlessly fascinating for me, have been since that night we met, why that is I'm not quite sure, but I think it is because you are the first person in my life to see me as more than just my utility; you value me for my all too human qualities - 

(damn - this is supposed to be about you)

What I see when you think I don't see you - a thoughtful man considering each step in his life, wondering how he ended up where he is. Not that I think you regret being where you are for a moment, but I do think it is something a younger you would wonder at. I think if you - if the war had gone differently for you, and you had returned unscathed, at least physically, I know war changes one even if there are no visible reminders -

(sorry, I've never written a letter like this before to anyone, and I may lose my way at times)

But I do think if you had returned more 'whole' or at least your idea of that nonsense, not seeking something other than what most consider 'normal' or average, you would not have gone in search of me. Or at least something like me, something out of your comfort zone -

(Why is it my thoughts fumble only when I try to put into words how I think about you, or perhaps feel is the better word? You are the first person who made me want to feel anything, hmm, 'want' - language so often fails to communicate one's thoughts properly, perhaps you are the first to force me to feel something, simply by your seemingly random appearance in my life, what is it now, twenty years ago, now? And yes, I wonder at that, as well.)

You just rolled over in your sleep, and you instinctively reached for me, knowing I would be there - I still wonder that you know that, that you trust that I have no intention of ever leaving your side again, not willingly at any rate. Not that I believe in miracles, but if I did, I would have to consider your faith in me as one of the greatest examples of some kind of divine intervention. 

You are making those 'almost awake, but not quite' noises that I find adorable - yes, there is no other word for it. You will be wanting your tea soon, but I can't quite make myself stop observing you, even if we had a million years together - I could never be bored - and there's your smile, that smile that -

 

"Mornin'. What's wrong?"

"Nothing, what could be wrong?"

"You're looking at me in that way when you think I may just disappear one day."

"Won't you?"

"No. Not if I have anything to say about it."

"Tea?"

"Please, but not quite yet."


End file.
